


Amaurotic

by zenxoxo



Category: Disney's Toontown Online (Video Game)
Genre: Blindness, Disability, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Learning Disabilities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2020-11-01 06:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenxoxo/pseuds/zenxoxo
Summary: Zen the Blind Toon of Toontown Rewritten retells his story of being a Toon and what it was like to do it blind!





	1. Typhlotic

.... Hello? Ah... Twilight did not teach me how to use this.. { _brief static_. } No, I told you, I turned it on. { _indistinguable voice in the background._ } Yes, I know. The red light is on. Can you not tell? { _more undetecable voices. some brief shuffling._ } Now that is solved.. Hello, Toons. My name is Zen. That is what I have been named since creation. I am recording this log.. to tell you about how I have served my time in the Toontown Universe. Where do I begin.. perhaps, when I first opened my eyes.

I was created blind. Not intentionally, of course, but I cannot see a thing. I can hear voices and detect what surrounds me using what is known as echolocation. I am able to make out shapes of other Toons and Cogs within my mind to assist me in moving around. More on those called the Cogs another time, in a later log. Most Toons are wary of me. They have not met a blind Toon, nor understand why I cannot see. Even I cannot fathom why, perhaps something corrupted in my original programming, or.. maybe I am not meant to find out. There is, however, one plausible solution. One Toon, Dr. Peepers, has been quite occupied creating special glasses for me. He lives in The Brrrgh, at Wait & See Goggle Defogging. I visit him often, but not yet has he found a solution for my eyesight. I have gotten quite close to him, and I think Twilight may be jealous. Just, ah.. do not tell him I said that.

The first thought in my head as I phased into Toontown Central was a feeling equivalent of fear. I knew not where I was, or why. I felt exhausted, like I had just collapsed, and there was a blaring headache that plagued me. I was soon guided towards what the Toons call the ' ToonHQ ' and received my first task. Apparently it was a test that they gave to all newly created Toons. Though.. I told them it could not be done, as I was blind, and could not see. I heard perplexed murmurs among the HQ Toons.

I predicted then, that this was something they had never encountered before. While I listened to them bicker, I deduced that it was best that I left, and I headed to my estate to ponder. ... Twilight is saying I have been talking for too long, and that he misses me. Perhaps this where I will end the first log.

...

I am oddly looking forward to the next one. { _audio cuts out_. }


	2. Purblind

{ _small static. sound of a chair creaking._ } Good evening, Toons. It is Zen again.

I know it has been awhile since I have recorded another message about my service. I apologise for the delay, but I will now continue. I had to adjust quickly to this new Toon-y lifestyle. I had to learn how to use gags by my own hand, as no Toon would dare to approach me out of sheer fear of my.. condition. The first gag I grew fond of was the Squirt Flower. It was simple to use, and the aim was much more easily controlled than throwing a Cupcake. ...Heh. Twilight enjoys joking to me about that one. While I struggled, I also persevered as well. I took to the thought that I was more competent than most other Toons, as I was able to memorise Cog health much more quickly. There was this concept I thought was interesting, and Toons called it ' going sad '.

I had yet to experience it back then, but it did not prepare me once for what I was about to feel. I also despised those dastardly Trolley Games. I could not join in most due to my blindness, but a few handful of Toons were friendly enough to guide me through a few choice ones. I preferred fishing to those games. Helping Shopkeepers was the main focus of the tasks that the ToonHQ would hand out to Toons. They taught me that it would be the same with each ' Playground '.

I was still adjusting to the terminology this universe used. I finally reached the end of the Toontown Central taskline, and ToonHQ was rather pleased and surprised with how far I had gotten. I was requested to deliver a smudged package, but it did not belong to any of the first two Shopkeepers I visited. It was a demanding, long task but I finished in record time. Surprise, though, I was greeted with a new Gag. Such name of the track was ' Toon-up. ' The mechanics were simplistic, but very crucial to a larger team of Toons. The ToonHQ suggested that I train it as soon as possible. .... Yes, darling. I am almost finished. .. I love you too. { _sound of him clearing his throat._ } Ahem.. it seems I drudged out this voice message for too long, much like the first one. Until the next time, Toons. { _audio shuts off_. }


	3. Melancholy

{ _a small yawn occurs_. } Evening, Toons. Zen, once again. If you are pondering why I am quieter than usual, it is because this is currently being recorded at night. Twilight is asleep next to me, but fortunately, he is a heavy sleeper. I need only not raise my voice, and he will not rouse. { _a brief pause. a calm sigh can be heard_. }

  
As I was saying.. I recently finished my time in Toontown Central. It felt quite lonely, doing all of the taskline by myself, having made little to no progress on friendship. Aside from that, it was time to begin Donald's Dock. The name still makes me smirk today. Donald's Dock was one of my favourite Playgrounds to reside at. Many Toons were not fond of the smoky, grey and dull skies that blanketed the sky at all times, but I found it soothing. Perhaps the Toons thought I was outlandish for thinking in such a way, but I paid their opinions no mind. Perhaps I could keep chanting about the tasks I had done, but I am not here to repeat what you Toons are already aware of. I had my first terrible encounter with a group of Toons who were attempting to conquer a Cog Building. Cog Buildings are a complex program created by the Cogs when they hold a Shopkeeper and their shop hostage until a group of Toons are able to release them. This happened when I was practically finished with the taskline of Donald's Dock. Ahab requested my assistance in taking over a Building, but I was not equipped enough to restore one alone. That is, until I saw a group of three other Toons preparing to enter the front elevator.

I was skittish around other Toons, for they treated me quite differently due to the fact that I am blind. I had to get Ahab's request done if I wanted to progress, however, so I mustered any courage I had to approach them. They were higher in the taskline than me, and the Toons had seemed cordial enough to allow me in their group. We entered the Building, as no more than four Toons could enter at once. That was the first Building I had ever gone into. I felt frightened, and I could barely prevent my knees from knocking together.

The first ' floor ' as they called it was always going to be the simplest. It was over in flash, a few pie slices were enough to destroy the onslaught of Cogs we encountered. After the wave ceased, the four of us were allowed to move on. The next floor, and last one being that, is where things turned sour. The Cogs were tougher than the previous ones and it was clear I was not prepared for that. But, it was not the Cogs who ultimately led me to go sad. It was my team. The Toons laughed, cackled, and did absolutely nothing as I was the lone one to attempt and defeat the Cogs, alone, to which led them to attack me. I felt the static energy being torn from my body as their attacks chipped away at my health, until I could take no more. A sickening feeling is what I felt, as I phased from the last floor. "Nobody likes a freak," are what words I was pardoned with when I emerged back to the Donald's Dock Playground. All of my Gags had been stripped from my inventory, and I had no energy to move.

... I had not been one to express emotion before, but at that moment, I felt hopeless. I was tricked into believing that Toons would accept me even with my uncommon disability. It took me a prolonged amount of time to recover from that experience. I made a promise to myself to never trust another Toon again. The Silliness everyone shared, I would never be apart of. I could never be a true Toon. 

{ _light sniffling is heard. a distinct voice speaks in the background_. } ... I am fine. ... You know I had to include it. Do not say that I am crying. ... Perhaps I should. A good idea, my love. { _small pause_. } I, unfortunately have woke the sleeping beauty that is my significant other, and he implores me that it is time to rest. Goodnight, Toons.. and remember.. you are... { _light snoring_. } always................ 

{ _more snoring. audio does not cut out, but no more sounds can be heard_. }


	4. Field of Vision

[_Small shuffling can be heard. The audio clearly hasn't been tuned(toon'd, haha get it?) in yet._]  
  
Ahem.. Hem.. Good evening, fellow Toons of Toontown. [_Zen adjusts his position in the seat he's currently sitting in, as you can tell by the squeaking emanating from the object_.] I come to you with another broadcast of my life. I apologize for the longest of delays, I have been.. not feeling up to par, at the latest. Twilight has pushed me to continue this series; he feels like it will be a good impact on my mental health. I suppose.. he might be correct. I have longed to talk about ailments that have been spiraling up my spine lately. Anyway.. shall we get into it? [_Zen clears his throat, as if he's preparing to say something painful. You can hear a swallow go down his gullet before he begins speaking._]   
  
After my.. incident in Donald's Dock, I previously stated that I would no longer trust another Toon even if my Laff depended on it. You would be correct. I neither offered nor accepted help from any-toon. I took it upon myself to complete the Playground with only my gags and the fire in my heart to keep going. I made frequent trips to The Brrrgh where I could visit Dr. Peepers, as he gave me many pointers on how to continue. I really did love him, that old duck, I believe. He was the only Toon who ever stood up for me. He comforted me after I was greened for the first (and hopefully last) time. His words were - '**Zen, it happens. You're gonna meet some of the meanest Toons you'll ever see**_. _**Never let that stop you from progressing in your journey. All ya need is some good luck, a good teacher, [**_Dr. Peepers proceeded to wink with this statement_] **and the drive to succeed. I believe in you, and many others will. Stand strong, my friend.**' [_Zen signs over the recording. It's a good sigh, as if he's daydreaming, and recalling a pleasant memory_.] I have such fond memories of Dr. Peepers. That quote always stuck with me. Of course, I could not at the time trust any Toons due to my past experiences, but I had one friend, and many unpleasant memories. The choice was simple. I would pick the one Toon, the one half of my heart, to support me in this journey. 

Soon, I had come to the end of Donald's Dock. The new Gag I was given by Ahab was known as 'Lure'. He explained that the track had very low accuracy, but the Cogs could not attack once captivated. This immediately appealed to me, and I vowed to train the minute I was free. I thanked Ahab and the Donald's Dock ToonHQ for their support, and moved onto the next Playground, Daisy's Gardens. By far my favorite, by the way. 

I felt the grass beneath me the minute I left the tunnel. Stems of various flowers sprouted out from the lower edges of the streets, and the sky was a magnificent blue. The streets were bustling with Toons battling Cogs, and a many Cog Buildings lining the shopkeeper's framework. I was still wary of other Toons, though some offered polite 'hello's' and motioned for me to join their battles. I politely declined and went on my way to the streets ToonHQ. I had a feeling deep down that this was a place where the nicer Toons were, as they just wanted to progress the same as me. I was aware from Dr. Peeper's teachings that things would rough up from here, but for once, I had hope. I had the overwhelming urge to prove myself to Dr. Peepers. A truly beautiful spectacle that would make him proud of me!  
  
That was until I proudly opened the doors to the ToonHQ to see the four regulars huddled in a whispering circle with some Toons I recognized. They were from the Toon Resistance. A group dedicated to helping lost Toons and fighting the Cogs until they whined and begged for mercy. ..Perhaps that is taking it a bit too far, but am I wrong? These Toons appeared much more experienced than me, as shown by their badges. They shone like the glistening sun that rested itself in the sky, giving life to the Toontown universe. I felt taken aback when all their eyes focused in on me, causing me to naturally shy away, pondering whether I had come in at the wrong time. Instead, they gestured for me to return, their words being '**Oh, Zen. You're the one we've been hearing about**.' Nothing frightened me more in this moment, but something came over my feet, and forced me to move down the tough wooden stairs in front of the intimidating group of Toons.   
  
I remember my heart skipping a beat. Multiple times, in fact. Never had I, Zen, a lowly blind Toon, been in such presence of greatness. They made out my structure a moment before speaking. '**We're concerned for you, Zen**.' They really did not beat to the punch, did they? '**We've heard about your unique.. disability, and the greening you experienced not so long ago**.' They could have just called it being blind, and not a disability. I thought I was doing fine at the time. Knowing me, back then, I stood dumbfounded. Words attempted to leave my throat, formed into something, _ANYTHING_, but nothing would release itself. I felt like a volcano needing to erupt, but something kept me from that. I could only tilt my head at the time, my glasses slightly slipping down my nose from the movement. An awkward silence filtered through the room, and I had only felt more nervous, as they were expecting a response from me. Of course, naturally, I messed up and said I had no idea what they were talking about. But they could tell a lie, easily. Partly because my glasses had slid nearly off my face, and I was peering in the opposite direction to which I was being spoken from.   
  
'**Zen.. we know you're blind, and you've just been greened in your previous Playground. We fear for your safety.. perhaps, it's better if you take a job in one of our ToonHQs. You would be safe from harm at all times, you could help other Toons, just more.. safely**!' Why were they so obsessed with the word safe? I normally never feel any emotion, as I am quite the mundane individual, but I could feel anger welling up inside me then. I attempted to dream of Dr. Peepers and what he would express to me in this situation, but I only felt tears welling up in my eyes. Why did nobody believe in me? Did Dr. Peepers lie to me all this time?   
  
No. I refused to believe that the only Toon that had ever showed any compassion, TRUE compassion for me, was a lie. I gathered my tears, flung them onto the floor, and stood a stance so tall and brave that said '_You will regret what you just said to me_.' I swiftly turned on my heels and exited the ToonHQ, slamming the double doors behind me. That was when I ran into _her_ \- a small, neon green mouse with eyes as gorgeous as the sparkling wet roses - _Princess Cuddles_.   
  
[_An exhausted exhale escapes Zen. He appears fatigued from the power in his voice_.] I believe that is all I can say for now, Toons.. I am quite knackered and I must prepare for my next recording, as it will be a great one. [_The audio switches off, and there is nothing but static left_.] 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in forever, sorry! Life gets in the way, you get uninspired, such is such, but I'm back to working on my fics! Some of them, anyway. Close friends were interesting in reading this one, so here goes! <3


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